Anxiety…my old friend

You are always with me
It’s been a lifetime, but I wasn’t always aware of you.

Sometimes, you keep me in the shadows
You keep my mouth shut
You keep my light dimmed.

Other times, I miss out on really seeing
I miss out on really hearing
I miss out on having the conversation.

And most times you just settle, deep in my stomach,
Churning butterflies and twisting knots.
I had become so used to you I didn’t even realise the trouble you were causing.

You were born within me,
When I was small and scared.
You were born from a desire to keep me safe,

But you so often keep me from being MY self.
You so often keep me from being in MY body.
You so often keep me from being in THIS moment.

Now that I am aware, sometimes I manage to stop.

I breathe in and I breathe out
I breathe in and I breathe out
I breathe in and I breathe out

I see you, I acknowledge you, I accept you.

And in no time at all, and all the time in the world,
You have journeyed, from the pit of my stomach, to the comfort of my heart

And we keep moving forward together… Courageous

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